A notification shows a message then deleted. Those who see it build a story of rejection or secrecy.
I propose to keep different explanations open, because a deleted message can also depend on a mistake or a second thought. In the example, asking discreetly is only possible if the relationship allows it.
The need for an explanation does not entitle one to control the other. When information is lacking, recognizing the limit may be more honest than choosing the most painful interpretation.