Argenziano Michele Ph.D.

As Mom Taught Me is a semi-autobiographical novel that tells the story of a child and his stage of growth, until he undergoes a process of premature adultification caused by events, educational or social tendencies and expectations that will shape his life and development, and through which he will learn to confront his most authentic reality; during early adulthood, the protagonist will also discover that he has an illness that has characterised and will continue to characterise every aspect of his being, for which he had been unable to identify a precise reason or cause, except at times by blaming the rigidity of a strict and rigorous father, foolish beliefs in fate and misfortune, or the inner conflict of living an unfair life.

The people he meets throughout the novel, his disappointments, dissatisfaction and constant ambition and desire to grow professionally will continually be connected to profound reflections, beginning with the principle and understanding that each of us has a personal view of things, that the concept of “normality” is subjective and, above all, that we must not always blame others for the faults and shortcomings of everyday life.

Through complex professional experiences, passions cultivated with determination and moments of profound introspection, the protagonist discovers that true growth does not consist in appearing different from what one is, but in accepting oneself fully. Every mistake, every choice and every encounter help build a new awareness capable of transforming fragilities into strengths.

The work will also address a particularly complex theme for the writer: abandonment.

Why is it difficult for him? Why is he unable to accept easily that a person is no longer part of his life and/or never intended to be? It is complicated, not so much because of selfish aspects or the genuine affection felt for the other person, but because of his own contradiction: he, who has always favoured the concept of “freedom”, who has always encouraged everyone in his life to begin again when tired or pushed to the limit, who has always embraced Vasco Rossi’s song I soliti, which says “we are free to fly, to make mistakes, to dream, not to return”, how can he instead, first and foremost, become so attached to someone or something without embracing the lesson he gives to others?

In the background of the narrative, the bond with the maternal figure will constantly emerge, symbolising origins, unconditional affection and the most sincere part of the human being. It is precisely from this bond that the novel’s title takes shape: an invitation to recognise oneself without masks, without artifice and without compromise.

With a direct and engaging style, As Mom Taught Me will accompany the reader on a journey of personal growth through universal themes such as identity, redemption, ambition, love, solitude and the search for oneself. A story that demonstrates how the greatest courage does not lie in becoming someone different, but in having the strength to show oneself to the world exactly as one is: as mom made us.

I wrote this book when I was 13 years old. I was a teenager preparing to begin my first year of classical high school, but I had inner troubles that I could express only through writing.

For years, the PDF draft remained on an old hard drive, occasionally taken up again, reread and corrected in certain parts.

The main difficulty lay in choosing and assigning an ending from the two I had devised, which set mind and heart against one another. Only at the age of 28 did I manage to find a “solution”: it was not easy for me; there were still inner pains with which I had to make peace and from which I had to draw entirely different lessons.

I studied extensively the psychiatric aspects of the conflict I was experiencing in making that choice—the choice between mind and heart—and, after reading many texts, particularly the essay The Nature of Love by Dr Donatella Marazziti, the first to explain current knowledge about love and, in particular, the biological processes underlying attraction and attachment that explain the different attitudes of men and women, I managed to make a choice that was shared first and foremost with myself.

In the end, I chose the path of reason and scientific evidence, which has also driven me to be an atheist all my life, in understanding that the heart, as an organ and something always considered the human foundation of feeling, actually has nothing to do with it: everything is governed by our mind, like all the rest of our emotions, and the butterflies in the stomach, euphoria and the feeling of happiness are nothing more than the work of the brain releasing substances such as adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline.

It was a more realistic ending, closer to real life, perhaps different from the classic “happily ever after” found in love stories. But I do not believe this means it is any less intriguing or moving.

As for the rest, I leave the decision to you.

Finished writing on a summer night in Barcelona.

Dedicated to my mother.

As Mom Taught Me

Before the book,
its story.

Other titles.